A few thoughts on HOARDERS

I have casually followed a couple reality shows in my time, but none have captured my heart and mind and free time like Hoarders. Ostensibly about people who keep far too much stuff in their homes, it's also a show about mental illness, family dysfunction, therapy, anger, trauma, and materialism. There is also something immensely (if superficially) satisfying about seeing a clean house at the end of an episode. It is impossible to fix these deep-seated problems in two days of shooting, but as a viewer, seeing tangible results of the work is very rewarding.

Secondly, while most of the show's participants are middle- or working-class, there is still a range of regional, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds featured, and it is amazing to see that they all follow eerily similar behavioral patterns. Typically, the hoarders have experienced traumatic loss or abuse in their lives. Many of them have a love for animals and feel that their pets are the only ones who care about them. They panic equally at the thought of discarding a family heirloom or an empty cardboard box. There is drama in the show and admittedly, a mild case of freak-show grotesquery, but most of all, there is profound pain.

And lastly, it has been both fascinating and frustrating to watch the therapists and professional organizers as they attempt to help the hoarders work through their issues. Most of them are harmless or ineffectual - this post will concern the two professionals I respect the most and the two that I most deeply detest.

DOROTHY BREININGER

Dorothy is an organizer and one of the most compassionate and respectful professionals on the show. She begins every interaction by thanking the person for allowing her into their home. Never didactic, she usually presents someone with the evidence of their problem (a thousand soda cans, cat skeletons) and gives them the space to come to their own conclusions about their choices. In one episode, she dons a face mask, grabs a shovel and works alongside the cleaning crew to shovel diapers/feces out of a young man's bathroom. Midway through, she turns to the camera and sighs, "This must be so humiliating for him." Her capacity for empathy is unrivaled. Unlike our next professional, she is not afraid to hug the participants and be truly present with them. While she is not always successful with the hoarders (and I've seen her get angry and frustrated), her level of respect for their humanity always elevates and expedites the process.

DR. ROBIN ZASIO

My negative feelings towards Dr. Zasio have grown with each episode, to the point that I sometimes have to fast-forward through her segments. Her most grating quality is that she is relentlessly patronizing. She talks to adults like they are children, and walks around with an incredulous, disgusted expression, which obviously puts her clients on the defensive. Often, these are people who have shielded their home from the public for years, or even decades. Despite the bravado they put on ("It's my house and I can do what I want!") many of them are severely embarrassed by their living conditions, and Dr. Zasio's nose-holding doesn't do much to reassure them. On the rare occasion that she touches or embraces a participant, you get the sense that she runs home and immediately slathers on the Purell. Her questions are often insincere and rhetorical, in a "Is this the kitchen? I see a sink and a stove, but I can't imagine that this is what you use as a kitchen?" sort of way. Ugh. I cannot stand her and her charmeuse blouses.

DR. SUZANNE CHABAUD

On the surface, Dr. Chabaud shares a fair amount of qualities with Dr. Zasio. She's not particularly warm and fuzzy, and she dispenses similar advice and judgment. And yet, her tone is a world apart from Dr. Zasio's. She is quiet and reserved, and has tremendous patience with the participants. Her empathy is not bubbling over, like Dorothy's, but I've seen her get visibly upset and concerned over the fate of some of the hoarders. One of the more poignant moments involved a middle-aged black woman, Theresa, who had hoarded endless amounts of purses and shoes. At the thought of her stuff disappearing, she began to panic and weep. Dr. Chabaud went over to her and asked simply, "Theresa, what's hard right now?" I almost started crying myself. What a smart, beautiful question to ask, with none of the pointedness of "What's wrong?" or "Why are you crying?" The question allowed Theresa to focus on the difficulties of that exact moment and how she was going to get through it. I think about that moment a lot. 

MATT PAXTON

Initially, I lumped Matt Paxton, professional organizer, into the category of the harmless/ineffectual. However, as he showed up in more and more episodes, I began to strongly disagree with his approach. Like the other professionals, he is well-intentioned, but he is fundamentally impatient with the hoarders and gets frustrated easily by their reticence to let go of, say, a box of vitamins filled with maggots. His two main strategies are incredibly flawed. For one, he tries to reason with the hoarders using logic. That will never work, because their behavior is illogical. So to say, "You're seriously going to use that rusted box of bent nails? When are you going to use that? You're never going to! This is ridiculous," means that you are refusing to work with a hoarder on their terms. Matt's other approach is equally futile, and that is to get personal with the hoarder and use guilt to snap them into action. He will often say things like, "Your grandchildren are here, trying to help you, and you can't even throw this little thing away?" or "All these people on the cleaning crew are here, away from their families, trying to help you, and you're not even cooperating!" I just think it's a pointless tactic, considering many of the hoarders have shunned their friends and families for years. Do you think they care that some random guy from 1-800-JUNK is missing his son's baseball practice? It's misguided, and again, shows very little understanding of the hoarders' mentality and the trauma they undergo every time someone throws away a seemingly meaningless piece of trash.

If you made it through this entire post, I salute you. And if you are like me, and fascinated by the world of hoarders, you can check out these links for more information:

Children of Hoarders

New York Times: Children of Hoarders on Leaving the Cluttered Nest

Hoarders on A&E