7. BELIEVE IN THE STARS (SEASON 3)
So many reasons to love this episode, but most of them involve Liz Lemon saying inappropriate things to a 13-year-old girl whom she believes is Oprah, while under the influence of drugs. It might have just been another Comanaprosil side effect, in addition to dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime.Also, this episode introduced the idea of my work-self suffocating my life-me, which is how I feel 75% of the time.
FAVORITE LINES
Liz: I’m trying to adopt a baby. But my job is making it impossible because my work-self is suffocating my life-me. I’m Liz Lemon and I lost my virginity at 25. I saw the show about following fear and it inspired me to wear shorts to work. It didn’t go great. Do you know Tracy Jordan? I took a pill earlier. I didn’t get September issue of O Magazine. Do you have the number for subscriptions? Why would you!? I eat emotionally. And one time at summer camp, I kissed a girl on a dare but then she drowned.
Jack: It’s okay. It happens to the best of us. In-flight medication is how I met M. Night Shyamalan, until it turned out to be...
Jonathan: That was the best day in my life!
8. ANNA HOWARD SHAW DAY (SEASON 4)
This is another one of my favorites, but it features one of those classic television absences-of-logic that I find so annoying. Liz needs someone to drive her home from her deliberately planned Valentine's Day root canal, but everyone has romantic plans. She stoops to asking a male escort, who bails after a chlamydia outbreak. Woe is Liz. HAS SHE EVER HEARD OF A TAXI?Sorry for shouting. It's still a great episode, because it features the return of all of her ex-boyfriends, Avery Jessup, a very thin Horatio Sanz, and the use of "bobsled" as a greeting. Also, I know she is onscreen for about 30 seconds, but I deeply love the tall dental hygienist who has the gap between her teeth. I often repeat her line in my head: "I say we order her some pizza and lock 'er in 'ere for da weekend."
FAVORITE LINES
Jack: Frankly, I could use a win.
Liz: A win? What’s with the euphemisms, Jack? Why don’t you just say you want some [makes hand gestures].
Jack: Is that sex?
Liz: It is the way I do it.
Frank: That cleaning lady finally agreed to go out with me. We’re going to pick up some pierogis and then eat them at her husband’s grave.
Liz: I scheduled a root canal for February 14th, Jack. I will spend half the day in twilight sleep and then I will go home and watch the Original Lifetime Movie, “My Stepson Is My Cyber Husband.”
Lutz: Hey, has anybody heard about any cool new sex positions? My girlfriend’s visiting for Valentine’s and I want to keep things caliente.
Liz: Oh my God, Lutz. Are you still pretending Karen exists?
Lutz: She’s real! Would a fake woman have a personal website at jdlutz.com\karen\proof?
Liz: Wow, Avery Jessup. She’s hot. She was on Maxim’s “I’d Rape That 100.”
9. DEALBREAKERS TALK SHOW #0001 (SEASON 4)
This episode came out while I was still in China, and I remember sitting with Jessica and laughing hysterically. It's one of the straight-up funniest episodes of the series and, in addition to Liz's pre-show identity crisis, the HD Camera becomes an endlessly rich resource for jokes.FAVORITE LINES
Liz: I’m a star! I’m on top! Someone bring me some HAM! I used to sing that when I was a kid.
Liz: Actually I got three haircuts. The first two made me look nuts. Hey, do I say the word “camera” weird? Camer-ah. Camer-ah. Camer-ah.
Pete: Okay, here we go! One more! This is the one. And action! Great. And smile. With your mouth! And raise the roof. Look boy, you can do it. Good!… Oh my God. Break it down, break it down. Oh, yeah, sassy. Sass it up. Wave to a friend. No, wave like a human being. Do you remember waving? And blow a kiss. No, with your hands! And uh, a little cleavage. Nope! Just have fun. Are you spinning a basketball?
10. BROOKLYN WITHOUT LIMITS (SEASON 5)
I've been having my misgivings about Season 5. They opened the show with a mediocre episode that also featured an oddly placed and unfunny rape joke about Pete's wife. The season continued on its bumpy way until Brooklyn Without Limits, which showcases Liz's faux liberal bleeding heart and makes fun of all the rest of the local-organic-Fair-Trade-outer-borough-hipsters. But most of all, it features overall shorts. Like any self-respecting 7th grader, I owned multiple pairs and I wore them until I realized how monumentally hideous they look on anybody with hips or boobs or both. Long story short, this episode was good enough to round out my Top 10, and I hope the season continues in this vein.FAVORITE LINES
Liz: This place is trying way too hard. Why are their straitjackets everywhere?
Jenna: Because before this was a clothing store it was a mental hospital. It’s winky and fun.
Liz: They’re from Brooklyn Without Limits. It’s this very cool store with locations in Gaytown, White Harlem, and the Van Beardswick section of Brooklyn. And they don’t just look great. See the tag? “Hand Made in USA.” Because BWL is all about fair trade and local artisans and staying green.
Liz: These jeans totally make up for all the times I took a long hot shower because I was bored.
Liz: You and Tracy deserve each other. I don’t know who to be more disappointed in.
Jenna: Me silly. I’m more aware of what I’m doing!
Liz: I’m a freelancer, which is pretty much a modern day cowboy. And I live like a cowboy by buying quality locally made jeans. Also by eating beans out of a can, due to impatience.
Jack: Do you know who owns Brooklyn Without Limits?
Liz: Brooklyn Zach. He throws pool parties in dumpsters
Jack: Halliburton.
Jack: It’s not Hand Made in the USA. It’s pronounced Han Made in Usa. The Hand people are a Vietnamese slave tribe and Usa is their island prison. They made your jeans. You know how they get the stitching so small? Orphans.
I miss curling up and watching 30 Rock with you. This made me insanely happy!
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